This is a response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt Eyes
The fourth floor was colder and more quiet than the others. She held her hands out and waited, breathing fast and shallow.
“Ow!” she said, lifting up her bare foot, the big toe pulsing.
“I’m sorry! So sorry!” said the girl beside her. “They said be still, be calm here because the assemblers cannot be startled. But I can’t help it! I’m too excited!”
“Don’t jump around!” an old voice shouted, hands clapping right next to their ears. “Be still and wait.”
The two girls pressed into each other and tried not to laugh. They laughed.
“Calm down or I’ll separate you,” old voice said.
They had not heard that word before but they knew they didn’t want it. They joined hands and quieted themselves. One foot’s little toes curling in and out, in and out.
“What color?” she whispered to her new friend.
“I don’t know! I don’t care! I just want to see. I want to see everything!”
“Me too, me too! But I’d like green.”
“Why? You don’t even know what green looks like.”
“My mother told me. I heard her say, ‘Look how green the grass is, how very bright green’ then I felt her smile and remember something special. It made her heart skip.”
“Your turn!” the old voice said to the other girl, leading her away.
“Wait for me when you’re done!” she called after her, “I want to see you before we go!”
She waited peacefully in her darkness for the last time, listening to the infinite space between here and there…imagining, feeling without touching. This contentment is important. Why?
“Now you!” said the stern old voice with stifled joy, a story told with two words.
The girl held her hands out. Warm ones led her forward up one, two, three steps. A different place. Rustling. What’s that? Feathers! She will see an angel! She knew it.
She didn’t know what she knew but something shifted, inside or outside? Fear? It was smaller than she expected. She wrapped both arms around it and squeezed.
Wind pulsed behind her from great white wings.
“Are you protecting me?” she asked, arms outstretched.
Her answer tumbled in with urgency, years pressed into moments of courage, trust, surrender and fight. She heard nothing but she tasted it all, bitter and sweet. Life. Love!
A painful sharp tap on the shoulder and “why you?” whispered in her ear. “WHY YOU?”
She tilted her head and shook the doubt out, the sandy dust poured on the ground where it belonged, under her feet.
Gently, He took her hands. Stars fell from her fingers.
“There are no eyes for you here, child,” He said. “You will not see the way you expected, the way you wanted to.”
She swallowed hard, twice, her small hands exploring his beard, every long wiry strand woven through time like millions of silver anchors. She felt strong as steel.
“You cannot see,” He said. “You are blind. The choice is yours. Will you be born?”
She climbed onto his lap, put her head to his chest and listened. Little toes curling in and out in rhythm to the heart that bears all burdens. She heard it beat faster and soar with hope.
“Yes,” she said.
She thought of the green eyes she hoped for while waiting in line.
“What does green look like?” she asked.
“What does it look like to you?”
“Adventure,” she said, “and warm wind. And maybe tastes like sugar.”
“That’s right,” He said, holding her tight. “And are you afraid?”
“No. Because when I hold my hands out, someone will take them.”
And that’s what she did.
The little girl skipped away with the old voice who’d brought her up the stairs more excited now than she’d been before.
“When will she know she is the protector, of so many?” the angel asked.
“I don’t know.”
“What if she had refused?”
“She didn’t.”
“But what if she had? What if she’d said no? Then what? Why do you let them choose?”
“She did not say no.”
“But if she had! What a horrible mistake that would have been.”
“There are no mistakes here.”
August 19, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Well that just blew me away. What a great story! It would make an awesome children’s book….
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August 19, 2016 at 11:53 pm
So nice of you to share your reaction! Thanks so much. Hhmm interesting idea, the children’s book😀
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August 19, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Ooo!! I loved this! Was it about heaven? A child choosing to be born despite their disability? So good! Really enjoyed this piece, thanks for sharing!
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August 19, 2016 at 11:59 pm
Hello! Yes, that’s what the story is about. When I first read the prompt, I intended to do a campy plastic surgery story on eye lifts but this is what came out. Can’t explain it! Love that type of surprise. Thanks very much for reading and commenting, too.
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August 20, 2016 at 12:28 pm
Excellent! I really enjoy this piece. That end bit when the angel was questioning what would’ve happened if she chose not to be born, brilliant. Love God’s answer, “But she didn’t”. Definitely one of my favorite reads.
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August 20, 2016 at 3:22 pm
That’s my favorite part too! Sometimes I trap myself in “what if-ing” stuff and I don’t think that’s meant to be done. I’ll still do it, though. Thanks again for your comments!
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August 20, 2016 at 3:41 pm
I think we all do. Hopefully, in time, we’ll out grow it. Your welcome. 🙂
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August 23, 2016 at 2:24 am
Great story
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August 23, 2016 at 3:09 am
I definitely loved it. It totally blew my mind. I wish you could go on with this story, like what happens next. Are you thinking about it?
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August 24, 2016 at 1:38 am
Wow thanks! Right now, I just enjoy wondering what her life would be like instead of deciding it. Maybe I’ll explore it in the future, not sure. Means so much to me that you wonder, too, and were so nice to tell me. Thank you!
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August 24, 2016 at 1:40 am
You are welcome. I am very curious about her future, really so I would like to know.
I hope you find some time to pay a visit to my blog if you feel like it of course 🙂
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August 23, 2016 at 7:02 pm
Wow! Very powerful.
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August 24, 2016 at 1:40 am
Thanks for reading! I love your user name 🙂
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August 24, 2016 at 5:38 am
You’re welcome and thank you.
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August 23, 2016 at 8:16 pm
What a great read! It really drew me in. It kind of reminded me of the movie Mr. Nobody with Jared Leto. He was up in heaven with other children getting prepared to go down to Earth. The angels were going around touching their philtrum (the indentation between your nose and lip) which made them forget what they had seen so that when they go to Earth they have no memories, but he was skipped so he doesn’t have a philtrum and he remembers everything. Great read! Very imaginative.
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August 24, 2016 at 1:45 am
I love that explanation for our philtrums and I’m going to believe that’s how I got mine! I’m not aware of that movie. Definitely going to watch it. Thanks a lot for sharing and reading my story!
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August 24, 2016 at 8:49 am
That’s what I thought when I watched it. It’s on Netflix! If you ever do watch it, let me know what you think 🙂
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